Year End

The harvest is done,
                              The farmer walks back,
The mouse goes dormant,
                               The sun finally sets......

                   
                    The year is over......

SOLITUDE

To live all by myself was almost a forced decision .....yes, now I am neighbour to my own family . I like my new found life...it is so much easier ....but it is not so for many....what about the old lady who lives next door?...shunned by her family ....she awaits her final moments...so this one is for you DADI ..as I lovingly address her.....

                

               I, often see her

               beside her partly drawn casement,

               immersed in thoughts of life and death.

               A stubborn time, will not let her quit,

               will not let her drop her withered old skin.

              She is in grips of immense pain...

              To struggle solitude is in vain.

               She wants the gathered multitude  

               and its din (around her).

              At war, with life itself

              every breath , she strives in vain.

              But each breath did weaker grow

              till it falls before its DEATHLESS FOE..... 

A THOUGHT

     I do wonder
               is it worthwhile
                    for you
                        to belong
                              and persist
                                  in my dreams.......
     Who knows
         sometimes my smiles.......
          
     The look in my eyes                       
            brimming with love......
      Will make
           your heaven fall apart....
      Turn dark
                 like mine.
       

THE BANSHEE

    Slowly....the song of the flute came renting in the air....
            I, seem to sway to its flow like a maenad frenzied and madhosh..but lo,
     it stopped...........leaving me in ....???

Yes,Music has such effect in me that it dwarfs everything else in my life.I become a fluid or perhaps a nag and let myself
sway and flow with it.What else do I amuse myself with? A simple clerk , steeped in penury , my dreary living an accepted fact...I, live with my wall lizard for company here....many a times ,I do long for some tender touch..the touch of conch-shelled hands on my forehead...

So often when the flute music comes drifting into my room I close my eyes and try to forget  my dreary existence.........It makes me feel like an emperor sitting  in his durbar......
    "  I come to you without me
      you come to me without you."
It went on like this for quite some time..however,.the sudden abrupt ending tortured me .....who was the player? It seems to call out to me....or was it just a fanciful imagination?  why did it stop when it reached a crescendo?
So, one night, one cold bleary night...IT STARTED....the oh ! so spirited song....renting the air to reach  me. The flute music  sounded so beautiful tonight....enchanting notes complementing the rain-washed night outside...
  "  Come , come to me without you
   Self is the thorn...
   In the sole of the soul
   Come merge with me."
I  started moving towards the song ....walking with a pulsating heart, crushing the slushy dirt beneath, I, stood near a house , the strains of the flute stronger and louder now....But I  always thought it to be a deserted one?
It was cold and damp inside..the wooden stairs creaked as I climbed...I groped for a hold ...it was too eerie inside. yet I went on....sweat dripped steps...an unknown fear as I slowly proceeded towards the strains...WHO WAS IT?
  "Come, come ,come to me without you
    as I come to you without me"
 I, reached the third floor.....the flute music stopped....I don't remember if I, gave out a shrill cry or was it  the banshee who was wailing.....it was eerie all around...the silence seems to grip me from all around....
Like a sightless man ,my hands reached out to the rusty lock that hung on the door, as I ,slumped on the floor  ...A SENSELESS HEAP!!!!!!
     

Little Phials

Love hallowed
     your impatiently brown eyes
speak
     an unusual language.

Creation
    screams in your eyes
Mystery
    curls in your smile
time reels
     eternity.
runs through my veins.
Emotions
runs riot
     smiling
       snarling
         listening
           sulking
             snaring
making me laugh and cry
I,
  who hold
     YOU
       in my heart
build my universe of sight and sound
I,
  see you cry
I,
  kiss to see you smile
then
   I,
     collect
        your
           tears
               and
                    smiles
in the phials.     

Punishment

His eyes slowly soaked her in,fearful she wasn't real.She was a family of butterflies..fluttering, laughing at him.
No , she was like a handful of water slowly seeping through the openings of his fingers.He looked upto the heaven thanking his Lord . THANK YOU,now I know it was never love...no,it wasn't-slowly he suppressed
the resentment rising in him.

He held her with tender terror, unable to stop himself from doing so. How could he stop? The soft , parted lips,the upturned nose and her legs..which made his calloused fingers feel lucky enough to touch them. She looked upto him to say something...He shushed her petals saying it can be done tomorrow. There would be no words tonight,he could not bear it.

He told her of his life,wanting so much to penetrate into her world...his eyes apologised. It wasn't much, but she knew it all along. He couldn't give her much...She snuggled close to him, trying to find a softer flesh to nestle and be happy.She had to get used to the life without him. She was aware of this.

He had to go now .He had to leave her ,there were others waiting for him. Other's like her? No,there was
no one like her .But there were others he could not leave .It was raining outside and inside him venom rose
up.He looked at her again and again...was she the same? A slight shudder went through him...words could not
come- they felt too heavy tonight...too heavy on his tongue....She understood,... he , too knew she did. Slowly, he felt his sweat -drenched fingers curling around her neck. She looked up in horror? No,it was more of surprise.......

A final drinking in, one last touch. Every time, at every whisper , at every rain-soaked night ,this would come as a film in his eye. Collecting his backpack,he silently closed the door and vanished into the sultry afternoon crowd.

24 hours later, police wrapped the body of a lady ,found strangled in the hotel room, to be taken to the morgue.......

My Little Kavya

AT THE GHAT OF THE ONLY WORLD.........

And then they two met

   and sung an eternal song that 

     seems to have no end....

From dawn to dusk

         they went serenading in unison

for they knew it had to end

(she begged him to stop the time)

   "No ,the three sisters of aurora never does"

Memories will never fade

They promised.....knowing that

At certain point they will lose track

 They needed each other.....needed to perfect each other.....

History will get in the way
of their memory....there is nothing to forget
They hid their pain from each other
They could not reveal their pains to each other
If only they could have been for each other....
What would not have been possible
    in the world?
Nothing remains,everything finishes
Let there be an archive of
         vanished envelopes,
          unfinished songs,
          yellowed pictures,
And a fading remains of their voice....
(a map of longings with no boundaries)
Will they remember (when they die...)
         The spread winter air
          The glasses of mint tea
           The peice of space(they shared)
             T he tattered red shawl
              The intoxicated laughter
              And sighs of desperation

While the cruel hands of clock ticked by......
They will then, perhaps row into the sunset
     past all pain.....
AT THE GHAT OF THE ONLY WORLD.......
                                                            THEIR WORLD.......        

A PART OF ME......

The
   strings of
           my heart
                 that
               you stum
  has
         intoxicating music
          sweet fragrance
                   accompanies
                           the music
              with each
                       breath that
                                   i take
             when nobody
                    with
                             tender care
                                  you
                      could reach
                                    my heart
                    now
                              I have
                                          enough reasons
                                                     to hate this world
                          but
                               am unable
                                           to do just that
                              as YOU ARE A PART OF IT!!!!!!